There is something about kids at a cemetery

Jenn and son, Jesse
Jesse Martyn flew in from Chemainus (Vancouver Isl.),
where he is in rehearsals for Les Mis.

It's been a year for hatchings, matchings and dispatchings, as my faithful reader friends know. Well, no hatchings other than our Phoebes in the shed, Jesse says there isn't time for them this year, he was married in May, 2014!

I went for the ceremony of the interment of my ex-husband. My children were there, as was my current husband, my ex's 2nd wife, and her family and friends. It is wonderful seeing the whole mourning process from the eyes of my grandchildren. We talked about Grampa Pat being in heaven, where he has a new life, a new home and a new body. They will miss Grampa, but he is still in their hearts and memories. It rather synthesizes one's own beliefs having to articulate and discuss them. I was happy to attend, for their sake, as it is important for them to have attachments to all of their family members and see that there is solidarity.

I asked what they remembered about Grampa Pat. Isabelle remembered him holding her when she was a baby. "Like this!" she demonstrated, arms in the infant-holding position. She must have photos she has looked at! It was adorable. I can't remember what Josephine said. I shall have to ask her again. This is a good way to manage your grief, take it out a little at a time, learn to manage small portions of it, and then carry on.

My 4-year-old granddaughter assured me that they will have a head stone with his name on it. She was interested in the lever that lowers the coffin. (Where did she learn that word?!) Obviously, my daughter had had preparatory chats with them about what to expect. They were quite interested in the hole in the ground and the foot prints that were there. After that, we went to look at the other stones and talked about the symbols while we waited for the ceremony to begin. Some are flat, some are tall, some have a lot of writing, some images; angels, fairies, pictures. 

I didn't point it out to the girls, but you can see how some stones represent young people whose lives have been lost too soon (See Jesse James Andrew Shay -age 26; and Tyler Luke Campbell- age 17, below). Isabelle's favourite stone was the one that looked like a rock and had "39" on it! She collected 4 pine cones, and that was exciting. I gave her my spare handkerchief and tied them up in it for her.

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone. It was warm. There were some tears from my children, but they have memories of a good father. Lots of hugs, a few tears, but smiles, too.

Both orison, lament and joyful celebrations

Someone seeking a house to buy inspected our tankless water heater and doubted its ability to  heat all the water fast enough. I can assure her that it works well, although my hubby had difficulties convincing her at the time, and she couldn't run away fast enough.

We had a houseful last week with the two of us, plus visitors: three adult children, one son-in-law, a toddler and infant (18 diapers/ day!), and my brother.

Caitlin's birthday was a hit, with fruit bouquets from Creative Fruit Bouquets in Bracebridge.

I updated my facebook status:

‎5 loads of laundry done, the 6th on the line (soaked, but well-rinsed) 7th in the dryer, 2 dishwasher loads done. I'd forgotten about babies and diapers, guests and guest towels, and sheets.

Splashing in the lake

Somehow, even with the rainy weekend, we had much fun playing in the water. The circle of life is unending.

Life change in any form is difficult. For some it is caregiving for ill loved ones, job loss, moving, all sorts of psychosocial trauma changes our circumstances. How well we deal with it varies.

For me, during those long months of helping my dad die with dignity, it was my blog friends who read my posts. People who laughed at my trite comments, fun photos, or complaints about noisy folks on the lake.

Bala Ski Show a hit!

As we anticipate another move (3rd in 7 years) I am holding fast to my blog buddies. A simple comment warms the heart. I know you are giving back what you received and you are the better for it. Thank you!

The joy of having family here is balanced by both orison and lament for family that has gone before. For if you cannot celebrate death, then celebrations of life are so much less meaningful. And do enjoy each day!

We interred my parents, accompanied by a toddler. We explained that this was a treasure that we buried to remind us of my parents. Of course, Josephine misunderstood and spent that day and the next asking me if I was dead! I explained that it was MY parents, not her mommy's parents.

 
Requiem in pace

A. E. Housman (1859–1936).  A Shropshire Lad.  1896.

XXXII. From far, from eve and morning

FROM far, from eve and morning   And yon twelve-winded sky, The stuff of life to knit me   Blew hither: here am I. Now—for a breath I tarry   Nor yet disperse apart— Take my hand quick and tell me,   What have you in your heart. Speak now, and I will answer;   How shall I help you, say; Ere to the wind’s twelve quarters   I take my endless way.