NaPoWriMo Day 9 –note to self

Day 9

when I was 20 I had purpose
colourful dreams and goals
the best teacher/educator possible
advocate for special needs students
 and frantic parents
night courses, workshops, ADQs
teacher mentor
read, write, learn
they encouraged women to aspire
we owed it to our gender

I couldn't play the game
single mom, new home, new life
rekindling the light in my fire
broken free
handcuffed by establishment
sucking up to bosses
few true leaders
more interested in rising
than helping teachers
staff more interested in dumbing down technology
the freedom to create but my hands were tied

just couldn't compromise
the principal's course under my belt
politically incorrect
when dreams die,
retired and rudderless,
how do you come to terms?
what have I achieved?
I fear I've achieved little enough
the kids I've failed in my classrooms
the bullied, the abused
the fragile students

seeking solace in the solstice
forest bathing with furry friends
where did twenty-five year sgo?
I changed my tune
dancing towards the twilight

Write a poem that includes a line that you’re afraid to write. 
Express something very personal that makes you uncomfortable, content, too emotional or ugly or strange. But it should be something that you’re genuinely a little scared to say. 

What a great idea!
Note To Self