March brings rain, snow

March 2

It's such a range of weather... March 1st, -16 C., then 2 C. March 2nd! I love the changes. I love the snow, but it is time...

We had a couple of cm of snow overnight, but I'm not bothering to shovel it. We are getting rain...

Health

Poor JB picked up his report from the GP's office. It's telling us he has a 5 x 2 x 5mm tear. He went to physio for a diagnostic assessment. No ultrasound or lasers for people with cancer, so that will slow recovery and healing. It could be months.

He bought himself a posture support duhickey. The physiotherapist said it was OK to use.


After that, he brought me a spinach salad for lunch, then he took a pain pill. He's continuing to take anti-inflammatories.

Pillow prop him up! Cinnamon is in the cat bed on the left!


He has a friend, who wants his bologna sandwich.

We ended up with 2.54 mm rain (about a tenth of an inch). I'm glad I didn't shovel! It's really wet snow. The driveway, of course, is a skating rink March 3rd.



Winter walkies, there is always something new to see. The evergreens have lots of holes, critters looking for bugs, but still they grow.

The dock is there. Honestly. The rivers are full. We'll see if we get spring floods this year...
This summer photo is from my post: Dock on the frog pond, where I showed how I built it (Jul., 2015).

Perth bloggers unite!

I was researching others in my near-by city who blog. These are the folks most active nearest to me...

I'd rather be blogging than out in freezing rain!

• Shabby Chic
• Sarah Herron Krissilas
• Cathy Breedyk Law
• PATRICK WHITE
• Matthew Barnabe
• Craig Mcintyre
• Spring Peach
• Friends of Murphys Point Park 
• Bastou

There are many more who started a blog and have abandonded it.

Many wonderful healthcare workers in Ontario

My friend, The Emergency Room Nurse (TERN), who writes a blog from an ER Charge Nurse point of view, is one of my favs. I depend upon her to pick out what is important in health care and draw it to my attention. She distills info, and I learn much, as well as finding common ground between my field (education) and hers, (healthcare), as I advocate for seniors in my community (you know poverty is the most influential aspect of ill-health).

TERN was writing about a fellow healthcare professional who is taking leave from writing.
She wrote:

Writing is hard work. It takes commitment. And there is no cure for it. I’m getting a little faster, but still, producing a longish piece, say in the range of 750 – 100 words, still consumes four or five hours — which is why you, dear readers, only see them maybe weekly.

Where the red squirrel played

It is demanding, time consuming, to write clearly, honestly and accurately about some issues.

I think this is exactly why I blog! Me and my generation are critical thinkers. We reflect, research, and comment on life, our profession, what seems right and wrong in society, in our neighbourhoods, communities, regions, provinces, nation and the world.

I am pleased to be able to stay at home, and bring my take on the world around me, to those who continue to read my blogs, respond, correct me and further reflect. A bad cold aside, I am resting with my laptop! No volunteering this week.

Retiree plays in the snow!

It counts, to put your opinion out there. Not on the 'comments' section of newspapers on-line, but in blog posts that add up to provide information for those looking for it.

My blogs have led to a number of contacts, interviews, and journalists seeking information (i.e., G8 Muskoka)and my insight, as a middle-aged professional. (Perhaps, at 53, I am nearer the old age than middle?) You know from your own discussions, that you are enlightening and illuminating the world around you.

It is only in discourse that we improve and learn. And while we research what we write about, we help improve the information on the web.

Bob V

I found, as a teacher, that few had the guts to listen to me, or my peers. My supervisors (i.e., principals/managers) were more concerned with appearing brilliant to first their supervisors, and then management, and then the public. Once I hit bottom and became clinically depressed: caring for failing parents, moving far from friends and family, leaving the best classroom (Gr. 8s), staff (Sir Win) and principal (Dave Hogg) in OCDSB ever, leaving a fabulous city in which to raise kids (Nepean), to live by a lake in Muskoka, I ended up finding peace by writing my book. Not on education, as I originally thought, but on being a caregiver for my mom with cancer, dad with a brain tumour and the ensuing dementia. Now, much more centered, I can volunteer and help others.

Our granddaughters

Some of us are unafraid to call a turkey a turkey. Workplace bullying, Full Day K, for example
I tend to reserve trite, flippant, fun info for my Facebook friends, and the more serious issues I channel into Health, Education, General Rants on my 3 main blogs.

I play with images, and memes, and generally keep reading, researching and writing.

Happy santas

We are beautiful but fallen...

I love this notion.
From another blogger:

I cannot remember the speaker’s name but I remember a lot of what he said but the thing that is relevant to this post is the sentence I started with. “You are beautiful but fallen.” Translate “fallen” in this context and I get, imperfect, incomplete, work in progress, damaged.

After caring for my father while palliative, he died Feb. 2007, I lost myself and my direction. It's been 3 years and I am beginning to feel better. 

As I adjust to the fall, carrying out the rituals I have added, like books on my book shelf, they fill my heart and my mind and my body with goodness. Over the years I add and subtract the rituals, as my books. I can no longer play softball. But the new activities, they are a comfort and a secure foundation from which to move through my day. There are books I have let go, as I need wisdom and security from varied sources.

The rituals of Autumn in my life: the bird feeders are up, the lawn ornaments in, I have said farewell to the amphibians, the water fowl, and the plants, the leaves that dance to the ground, as they do.

Only this morning did we have subzero temps.  Like the leaves, I am fallen. But as the leaves dance to the ground with the winds, they carry the joy of their purpose.

Bonnie wrote today:
"Somethings we cannot change". From David Richo's book How to be an Adult in Relationships

~ things change and end

~ life is not always fair

~ we pay for growth with suffering 
~ things do not always go according to plan

~ people are not always loyal or loving

We have three adult children, and one granddaughter. It is a blessing. I know I have a legacy. There were days when I felt useless, our children having other adults to whom to turn when I was emotionally barren, fighting depression as I mourned my mother, my father, my mental health & wealth, my career, my drive. Now that I feel balanced again, I am able to provide them with the unconditional love and support they deserve.

I still am trying to find my place in this life, having quit work. Still having the nightmares around working as a teacher, I do not wake refreshed. I feel this guilt in sitting by the lake, taking photos, feeding wildlife.

I am learning to let that go! Like my softball life and those dear friends back in Ottawa.

When we experience inexplicable conflicts that we can’t resolve; when we become aware of urges in ourselves that seem irrational, primitive or destructive; when a neurosis afflicts us because of our conscious attitudes are at odds with our instinctual selves – then we begin to realize that the unconscious is playing a role in our lives and we need to face it. (Johnson,  Inner Work, 1986, p. 5)

 I know that the 9 mos. I spent helping my father in palliative care, I huddled at home the rest of the day. It was all I could do! I continued to take photos, and comment on my world. My e-mail to far away family and friends became blog posts.  I no longer speak to those who believe what I did, or did not do, was wrong. There were inevitable extended family conflicts, and conflict with those who enabled my parents to live in terrible circumstance as they did.

As I juggled my father's illness and my extended family's interference, has meant that I have lost contact with many souls. Caregiver burnout, depression, and illness is a common problem.  I know I am not alone, hence my sharing of my story.

But you know, the answers lie within. I let it all go. I gave my worries up to the universe and low and behold, a solution came.  My work with Hospice has brought me great rewards. There is healing in withdrawal, in artistic endeavour, in looking within. Life is good, I have to accept that what I am able to give is enough. Yes, I miss having a career and a purpose in life. But I have found new things to keep me and mind mind/body/spirit occupied.

Forgiveness vs. guilt

What with all the press that the Silver Tsunami is being given, and my friends who have bemoaned their lack of motivation, I wanted to create this post. Much has been written about preventing dementia. I think, just like teaching your child to read by age 3, entrepreneurs are simply catching the bandwagon. We know how to be healthy. At this point, it is better to identify dementia early, and begin to treat it and prepare yourself for middle and old age.

It is important to

• exercise properly,
  
• eat well, and in moderation, mostly veggies and whole grains
• high fibre, low salt, low fat
  
• drink lots of water & hydrate,
  
• drink alcohol in moderation - one glass of red per day is recommended
• watch your weight, blood pressure, stress levels
• participate in healthy things for the big 3: mind, body, spirit.

That said, you really need to forgive yourself. The first week of July was always my week to do the things that needed doing. After being mom/teacher/mentor/volunteer/committee member for 10 months, there were things needing doing.
Then, the second week I forgave myself.

You need to depressurize, not give yourself more deadlines, must-dos, and guilt. Go for an afternoon walk. Read, write, play, dream think. That, too, is meditation. Each day is your new chance to make lifestyle changes. Set goals and meet them and rejig your goals when it is right for you. I remember going to the gym and seeing the spandex-clad size 4 cuties, with the young men ogling them. That just didn't work for me!

I have had a tough two weeks, conflicts with guests, issues with the house (can you spell money pit?), and the joy (but pressure) of playing grandma. I find writing and reading on the computer is really cheap therapy! It opens up a whole new world and helps me realize who I am as a person - not as my role: mother, wife, grandmother, volunteer.

I loved taking yoga classes. I cannot, now, but do stretch when I can, now that I know the poses. I have a video, which helps remind me.

But where do you start?
It starts with one step at a time. Manageable goals.
When I wanted to get back to working out I began by laying out a 1 km stretch of road. I walked, crawled or ran as far as I could. Eventually, when you plug in a short distance, and you build that time into your day, you can increase it.

Here is a place for excellent resources.
I worked for CHAP, as a coordinator of volunteers. They have some great resources on their page. There are some places where you can go for support, and they will send you a nagging e-mail as you wish. Do that, if it is right for you. Mostly, it is in finding a kindred spirit and sticking to a plan. The best of luck!

Seniors Driving

With an increased life span, and many people with health issues we must be more vigilant in monitoring health issues in seniors. Current buzz revolves around keeping senors off the road.

The Star seems concerned about this issue with two articles!

Physicians, health care providers, family members and insurers are responsible for reporting seniors who are unable to drive. Despite the magic age of 80, we must be aware and take responsibility at the earliest signs of dementia. Families have a responsibility to monitor their aging family members to protect society. If a family member has shown dementia-related factors, then adult children must monitor these issues.

CBC this morning featured a clip that stated that "100,000 drivers over the age of 65 will be on the roads in 2028." I was quite surprised. How certain are they that these folks will have dementia? I hope to sail through my 60s in good health. Such ageism in this day and age...

We can prevent, identify and ameliorate dementia symptoms, but they must be recognized and faced up front by family and neighbours. Most are in denial in my experience. When accessing services caregivers and family members might be at their wit’s end.

In Ontario the CCAC oversees patients released from hospital, but their mandate does not cover frail or ailing seniors at risk in the community. Very few resources exist. Some seniors can find resources through non-profit agencies (see my links), but these agencies rely on donations, rather than tax dollars, and care is finite and difficult to arrange. Aging at home funding agencies and programs have been slow to develop, despite a long-standing client bases in those who are disabled and in supportive living and day programs.

Health Issues in Ontario

Changes must occur before the Ontario initiative towards establishing Family Health Teams will have an impact. Physicians are not trained to look at the whole person. They tend to treat symptoms and not conditions or diseases. With limited time they may not be able to devote time to more than one issue. If their client faces a major issue, such as cancer, or depression, other comorbidities will remain untreated as they attempt to spend time on the most serious issue.

Currently, if you have physical issues you may or may not encounter a physician who understands mental health issues. In my situation, I was facing depression issues due to various personal factors: moving, changing jobs, living apart from my husband, working in a new environment with a new boss and a stressful job. As time passed, I then began giving palliative care to my mother.

Concurrently, I faced menopause symptoms that affected my sleep patterns, energy levels, gave me acne, dry skin and many other symptoms. But some of these symptoms were attributed to my bereavement and depression issues.

What would help a Family Health Team, would be either a patient navigator, nurse practitioner, or a case manager who can help patients oversee management of their care. An holistic approach is the only way to ensure that physical and mental health issues are dealt with in a timely and auspicious manner.