I had trouble with this book. Firstly, I didn't want to pick it up, as it is the memoir of a man whose wife recently died (2011). Certain it was cathartic for him, I found it a tough read.
Eventually, having had a lovely birthday on Sunday, I took it outside with me and read it in the warm sunshine. It was a difficult book. There are some morose incidents with cancer scares, depression and grief in their losses of family; adoptive children, some near some far.
A lot of male writers, I have found, don't bother with descriptive paragraphs of their settings. Levin is one of them. I kept wishing for sights, smells, sounds, of the various places he and his wife visited. It reads more like a blog, without the photos. As with my book, you have to share the lessons learned with the reader, but these lessons were pretty specific to a doctor, whose family has much, except for time with a father. That said, it was a long-lasting marriage, but his emotional toil was difficult to digest.
Travelogue
Part of the story involves their cruises, yes, a travelogue, and Levin describes them, writing much about the struggles, but not the setting. They were in Germany (during WW II), Paris, as well as many other cities, during their marriage. I was discomfited by his wife's issues with arthritis in Paris, when they likely should have gone home. I felt such pain for his wife who was unable to walk distances. They were there during the Paris bombings in 2010, and it was a painful read for these reasons.
Editing
Another problem, the repetition of nouns were frequent. I think visiting synonyms.com would have been a good idea. I found he used far too many asides (for obvious items) which slows down the reader (who knows what two-by-two means) trying to make it humorous. It just didn't work.
While a lovely sentimental journey, the political comments could have been omitted. Making the book shorter by about 100 pages would have been wiser, methinks.
After Donna’s passing 2011, Levin was caught between feelings of despair and ongoing love. He penned a memoir of his relationship with Donna titled, “Our Beguine” to explore and recreate the soul-to-soul relationship shared by the two and celebrate their 57-years of love.
I am amazed how a writer or veterans, can diss the entire teac
Remembrance Day, Perth
hing profession, claiming what teachers do or do not do. Kids are keen, interested and have been exposed to many family stories.
Linda Granfield is a prolific author, with many books that write of soldiers, veterans and war, specifically for elementary children. With instant news and TV coverage of horrific sights, drones murdering civilians and children, I would think that young kids need not know about war as the older ones do.
This is one of my favourite photos!
Linda Granfield complains on CBC's Fresh Air, with the work-to-rule last year, many teachers did not put on a school assembly around Remembrance Day, but we've always taught lessons around it. Whether there is a big assembly, or not. Teachers are doing a fine job in schools. Perhaps she is only flogging her books at the expense of our profession. Kids adore talking about the personal family history with regards to war. I think, last year, without parents jumping in front of one another, trying to capture an entire assembly on video, holding up their iPads in front of the people behind them; perhaps last year the lessons were delivered in classrooms with more respect than has been done in many years.
We did much writing about war and peace, about what veterans went through, and visited the War Museum in Ottawa. They developed an amazing website, based on trench warfare, back when I was teaching.
Korea, The Forgotten War
Many have published autobiographies and biographies for us to read. Many of my students lived through war: The Gulf War, some had fled into the hills to avoid war, some were Vietnamese Boat Children, others have been refugees, some from Somalia. We need not educate some kids about war.
I was listening to a podcast interview, Tapestry, on FEARS (Aug. 29, 2010), having had a wee visit with Dr. Insomnia. Rather timely after my reflection about HOPES.
This book was written after the death of his son. Rabbi Kushner's son was diagnosed with a childhood illness at age 3 and was only expected to live until his teenage years. (He lost his son 43 years ago.) The Rabbi felt that enjoying each day ensured that no day was wasted. He grieved at his son's death, found some catharsis in writing his book (research shows the benefits of autobiography), and comforting words for us all. How differently would we live our lives knowing the day of our or our loved one's demise?
Rabbi Harold Kushner has been written10 books so far! He has comforting words, as only a well-loved spiritual guide can write.
For some, especially in the U.S., they fear losing their home. Many believe that the poor are poor because they aren't working hard enough. We know this isn't true. Some are only a pay cheque away from poverty and homelessness. In Canada we have been hit economically, and for those who have lived through the depression, many fear poverty. It is a very difficult fear and it changes how you live your life. Think of those with their cash buried in their mattress!
Otherfears, not phobias, that limit your perceived success and happiness in life:
Success, public speaking, death, dying, pain, rejection, doing the wrong thing, not being there for a loved one, technology, poverty, failure, being single, being married, getting old, being alone.
Family love us for who we are; not for what we have, or don't have; not what we do, or don't do; not for what we look like; or for our perfection. We cannot fear failure. If our loved ones and friends cannot accept our mistakes, then who can? We all perfect and we are allowed to make mistakes. The idea is to learn from them.
Easter: 1994
The saddest thing, he says, is to think of those with their dream girl one phone call away, afraid to make the phone call just in case she says no. Or that perfect job, with evil inertia holding one back from success or the joy that arises from taking a risk and winning. There is no shame in losing. I always counselled my students: you only lose if you fear failure and do not try.
Fear of trying.
This isn't a world that condemns failure, the Rabbi tells us. We know that the media isn't very forgiving; for this reason we have to endeavour to keep friends around us who do forgive us. You only lose if you do not try. It is more truly fear of rejection. This is shattering. This is why, methinks, being unfriended on Facebook is as serious as a slap in the face!
Some fear singing in public. But look what happens when we lift our voices in song. Everyone smiles.
People complain. They have unrealistic expectations of us, of themselves. We image our dreams and create visions. My dream of being principal was shattered with my depression and caring for palliative parents. I dreaded not doing the right thing. Every day. I impacted me greatly. As with many in depression, I ended up having panic attacks, tied to something to do with my balance. A common story.
If something is facing us and we aren't sure we are up to it, we fear action. I know, when caring for my parents I was afraid of not doing the right thing. Friends can attest to managers who fear making a decision. It drives employees nuts!
To cope with fear of the unknown, have confidence in yourself. If you fail, forgive yourself. You will not be thought the less if you fail. You will be forgiven by those who love you.
Dad, in long-term care
As a caregiver I made some mistakes. I have forgiven myself for them. Some of my distant relatives have not forgiven me. They are out of my life, and have cut themselves off from me. I can live with this! As Maya Angelou says: you do the best you know how, with the information you have at the time.
There are times when you are asked to do something and you wonder if you can do it. When we reach deeply into our souls, the Universe sends us the energy or the person we need. Kushner says this is 'God at work in this world.' In my mind the Universe sends a teacher when we need one.
Here is to family!
We know that animals sense our fear. It is something in the fibre of our bodies that reflects in the way we treat one another. If we fear what someone will do to us we will reject them. The shell in which our soul is housed, the human body, is made up of 1026 atoms. Our minds can play tricks on us. Our complicated selves, driven by ego, and by fear, can cause misalignment of our energies.
The Hebrew Bible says (82 times, Kushner says), 'Be not afraid'. Being afraid diminishes our humanity. If we let our fears take over our lives we rob ourselves of the joy of life. Live in the present.
Be not afraid. If you don't make any mistakes in a day, you aren't really trying!
