Sunday, 4 August 2024

Deadnaming, gender identity, sexual orientation

The US presidential race has lit a fire with the US VP Kamala Harris entering the race. She is quite the human being. So is her husband! 
Her husband is behind her 100%. He is an ally. After a speech he gave, he finished off by saying that since Trump has so many issues pronouncing her name, he'll find it easier after the election when all Trump has to refer to her by is Madame President! I laughed.

It is so disrespectful not to learn how to pronounce someone's name. I had so many students from multicultural backgrounds (refugees from the Gulf War, Vietnam, or countries without gender equity), and I made an effort to learn how to pronounce their names and treat them with respect. Low class right wingers continue to use shamefully pejorative terms for people with differing opinions. 

On another issue, Deadnaming. When a human transitions, it is 'deadnaming' to use their old name. This is what Elon Musk is doing to one of his eleven children. 😖 She is trans and she is pissed off. Such disrespect. 

2SLGBTQI+ <= definition, government of Canada

2 spirited, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, intersex, and others +

Some First Nations, as well as others, have always recognized their Two Spirit people. People who are using a contemporary term for people who identify with a 3rd gender social role in their communities. 




 

Gender Identity

🥇🥈🥉Friday, July 26th, we taped and watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. I hope Celine Dion didn't do herself any harm. She looks so thin, fragile, and ill. Of course, I just look thick, sturdy, and ill. Who am I to talk?! Oops, no, can't talk. I cough. 😅 

Anyway, the stars were great but the dancers, actors, costume designers, mechanical engineers, shone. All the costumes were epic. The diversity, colour, joy, and all these wonderful human beings made me happy. These beautiful human beings feeling free to express themselves. Haters refused to turn it off, feeling offended gave them homophobic righteous indignation and power. 

There is such history around the Olympics. Lots of people don't understand this. Thankfully, many more do and laugh at those calling them 'woke.' Society, like humans, evolve and change.

If you can't love and accept people for who they are, you aren't Christian! It is your own fears and biases clouding your rose-coloured, privileged glasses. Too much harm has been done in the name of religion. If you have to control who people love, how they dress, move, live, act, you aren't a decent human. 

The depiction of the 12 drag queens at dinner, I laughed so hard at this ignorant backlash. It's a new day. It is a new world. Biblical scholars tell us that, above all, fellow humans are to love one another. Full stop. 

The Olympic committee has had to come out and explain to snowflakes clutching their pearls that this isn't the Last Supper. An American Bishop weighed in on this. People are laughing at him as he rage farms for clicks. It rather hit home for us. 

I love the Rev. ! I follow him on Twitter.

He shuts down haters, bigots, Christian Nationalists...

Our news: gender identity, sexual orientation

I've mentioned that I've a gay granddaughter (Aster, 14 years old, she changed her name from Isabelle).  She wears her heart on her sleeve. Actually, she wears a pin on her cap that says 'GAY' 😎.  She is cool. And wears a bracelet that further identifies herself. These are gifts from friends, who amazing supporters. The teachers are pretty good. They have a clan at school, and there is strength in that. 

Jo, Aster, me, my daughter Caitlin 

I have Jo's permission to share this latest news. Last month, the family visited us and Jo declared that he would prefer he/him pronouns and being called Jo, not Josephine (he is 16 years old). Jo has bravely shared that he is trans. I must admit that I was gobsmacked. Not that I had issues, but I knew that the road ahead would be difficult for him, and I was thinking about that. (The same issues gays had back in the 70s.) I thought about all the struggles he must have gone through up until now. 

Grampa had the best reaction. Thank goodness. We were all sitting around the dining table:

"We love you. We are behind you 100%. You are still our Jo.

I'm a grown up. I can learn new pronouns for him. He has come out, despite his fears. Both these grandies are loved, respected, cared for, and embraced by their family, including their extended family (young cousins), friends, and others in their circles. I bought them some buttons after Aster came out. I said she could her to give them out to her friends. They've a couple of friends who use they/them pronouns. The 2SLGBTQ+ community is a strong one. 

Jo's had homophobic slurs flung at school, he tells me. I asked about this. Such ignorance. We'd see guys holding hands as we walked from the subway to Jarvis H.S. That was in the late 70s. It was just normal for them, and normal for us. When I began teaching in 1980, kids would fling the 'gay' slur. I'd always respond, what's wrong with being gay? I grew up in downtown Toronto, and diversity was 'normal.' 

How can civilized humans do this to one another? I've dealt with bullying in my classrooms for 25 years. I asked kids to advocate for one another, and they always came through. The would tell me privately about peers who were being victimized, or bullies who were being cruel. We sorted it out. 

Resources

I've been collecting these. It gives me the language to better respond to haters. It may provide some help. I want to be an ally. 
   


There is a lot of research on 2SLGBTQ+ issues. There are many role models. You find your clan, and stick together. This is an amazing time to be dealing with gender and sexual orientation issues. People don't need to hide them. Gender is not binary. It is a continuum.  Sexuality is fluid. 

Anyway, I've been doing some research. When we know better, we do better. Our grandies have Charter Rights and Freedoms. 

 One of my favourites designers is Myles Sexton. Check them out on Instagram, too. 

Gender Assignment

The boxer at the Olympics has Swyer Syndrome: for those who understand genetics. Wiki was a good read to clarify. Her home country (Muslim Algeria), does not permit transgender healthcare. She is not transgender. There is a continuum in gender, despite us assigning gender of physical appearance at birth. Thank goodness for the scientists to help us understand. 

I read a pithy statement on Twitter from Dr. Fiona Mattatall, OB/GYN:
"What has become clear to me the past 24 hours of Twitter, is that those kids who copied off my science exams in high school now feel they are experts in biology..."
 


OK, long post, but I wanted to solidify my thinking and curate my research. 
Judge not lest ye be judged. Do unto others.


13 comments:

Barbara Rogers said...

Times they are a changing! And I don't want to be left behind, so please tell me what 2SLGBTQ+ means...the 2S is new to me.

David M. Gascoigne, said...

The Olympics are a sideshow with so many scandals and controversies it’s sickening. Even Canadians are spying on other teams with drones. Yep, it’s all about solidarity and brotherly love, fairness and respect. Better to take a walk in the woods.

Val Ewing said...

I am more open minded than folks in my area. One of the kids I used to babysit for has transformed to the gender she needed to be. He moved from the rural area she was in. I accept her as she is. I am also friends with our tractor mechanic that transformed into what 'she' always felt in her body. This after 15 years of marriage. She is a well respected mechanic in our rural area.
My point is, I love my trans and gay friends as I do my other friends. They have hearts, feelings, and are just like us.

My very Christian friend says Jesus loves us all.
My very Christian distant relatives are horrified and angry.

I pick love and kindness every single time over hate and anger.

Thank you so much for this extremely well thought out post...it is my opinion that everyone should educate themselves on this.


Anvilcloud said...

I know how to pronounce Kamala, but I still tend to stumble, especially when I see it in print.

All the best to Jo. I am sure that it is difficult. I have a child with prefers to be identified as neither . That’s fun.

Barbara Rogers said...

Oh I saw the little blurb about 2 Spirit individuals, so now I think that's what 2-S means.

Kathy G said...

I had missed the post about Aster's new name. Thanks for clarifying. And how cool is it that Jo's birth name is able to be modified and used for his new identity.

Far Side of Fifty said...

All so confusing for us elderly folks, so many new to us words. Wonderful that you are so supportive of your Grands...they need that! Be kind, we never know what others are struggling with.

Divers and Sundry said...

Trump's cruelty and pettiness are long-standing traits. He is such a mean-spirited person.

I get a kick out of reminding Christians guilty of deadnaming that they don't have any trouble with Saul of Tarsus becoming Paul ;) They are selective in their outrage

I myself was reminded of the da Vinci painting but didn't assume the tableau was based on it and certainly didn't take offense. I want to tell the conservatives "they ain't studying you." ;)

The gender issues are disappointing in that they continue to be an issue at all. People should quit being so judgy. The pearl-clutching over that female boxer is appalling. Assigned female at birth, has identified as female her whole life, and yet somehow not female enough for some people. 😢

Thanks for the resources. I'll be sharing some of them on FB.

Elephant's Child said...

Thank you. And hear, hear.

Red said...

Great post! You must be feeling much better. There's an excellent piece in the Scientific American April 2024. Families under attack. It's well worth reading as much current research is discussed. I am far behind since I retired.

DeniseinVA said...

Great post Jenn, thank you! Such a beautiful photo of you and your family. I applaud Jo and Aster and wish them, wish you all, only the very best in life. I also applaud you for showing respect to your students by learning how to pronounce their names, and I know you go a lot further than just names. I am grateful for growing up in a multi-cultural area, and to my parents who showed me how to respect everyone around me. I will be bookmarking this so that I can come back and read again, always learning and this is the way to do it, by reading. And I’ll end by saying, do hope you get your energy back very soon.

DeniseinVA said...

Just an added note, well done grandpa! Best response ever!

Jeanie said...

A long post, yes. But an important one. And a powerful one on many levels. I say three cheers to both Jo and Aster. It takes courage to come out in a community that might not be supportive and I wish them both all the luck and good things in the world. They are wonderful young people -- we've seen that in your blog for many moons. That's all that really matters. My first known experience with someone who was gay was in college when, as a theatre major, I encountered many gay men. And at least two of them remain among my deepest, closest, best friends more than fifty years later. And since, men and women. It simply doesn't matter. It's what is right for the person and no one else's business to approve or not.

These kids are both so lucky to have a wonderful and supportive family. All kids should have that; many don't.

As for Doug Emhoff, three cheers. I'm hoping he becomes our "First Gentleman".