Instead of giving advice...hold space

"Hold space"

When I had physically disabled students in my classrooms, I would teach their peers that grabbing their wheelchairs without permission crosses a boundary. It's a topic that has been written about quite a bit, i.e., Stop Trying to Fix Things, Just Listen! | Psychology Today.

I read this thread on Twitter. It comes from a young US-based lawyer, patient advocate, and someone dealing with multiple chronic health issues. She wrote a blogpost that all should read...

While this is true for face-2-face relationships, too many people jump in, after someone expresses themself, on Social Media.

 It is perfectly ok for you to read someone's expressions of frustration, obstacles faced, upset, or other emotions without jumping in with "solutions." It is healing and healthy for people to express themselves as they process their realities. 

Jumping in with your thoughts is
- presumptive: you're assuming someone hasn't tried or isn't trying these ideas
- egotistical: you're wanting to prove you know something and can save the other person
- invalidating: you're missing the point of self expression altogether. 

I've often wondered what a good response should be.  Here is what Erin suggests:

•  "I hear you" 
• "I see you" 
• "I'm here if I can offer help"
• "Thank you for sharing what you're going through" 
• "I am here to support you"