Friday, 24 March 2017

Book Review: Beyond Venus and Mars

Man Cave
Did you read Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars (1992)?

I thought it an interesting book, back in the day. I was divorced in 1993, so I guess it didn't help me much!  I dated between husbands and it did help me then! Women talk their way through problems with one another, men tend to simply give you the answers.

I was asked to review Beyond Mars and Venus. John Gray's books tend to follow the same theme: male vs. the female psyche. What he has found over the years, as society has changed, is that while gender roles are not as fixed, there are still roles in a heterosexual relationship. That premise holds up, plus the notion that it is only in recent generations that women have been powerful, hard-working CEOs, and there are few road maps for either gender.

Communication and Understanding of Differences

Gray examines the factors that make relationships work, and these are all items that will help us understand how to make our relationships with ourselves, and our partners, better. One of the early messages in the book is that while it is hard enough to change ourselves, let alone another person, we can change our behaviour.

While there is some value in speaking of female and male characteristics, what I find most interesting is that I see much more of a shift. Many more men are earning less than their partners, as Gray alludes, and many are becoming stay-at-home fathers. Then, there are same-sex marriages!
"Understanding our differences in a way that makes sense is the foundation of good communication."
How do you manage these issues?
  1. Values
  2. Handling Stress
  3. Giving Support
  4. Showing Love
  5. Scoring Points
  6. Moods
  7. Reason for Communicating
  8. Needs
  9. Intimacy
  10. Problem Solving
  11. Mistakes
  12. Happiness
What I think the book lacks, in this day and age, is a recognition of cross-gender issues, and a recognition of the LGBTQ2 community. We know much more about biopsychosocial issues, including gender identity, and how hormones affect us. Gray is a social worker, and I found it interesting how many pages were devoted to biology. He quoted no studies, and no sources, as he waxes on about estrogen, oxytocin, and workplace stress.  It's a pretty easy read, if you are so inclined. I found little knew, but for those interested in thinking about their relationships, you may want to give it a go!

Understand the different between men & women. #menandwomen #relationships Listen in @MarsVenus
— Kamala Chambers (@KamalaChambers) March 13, 2017

Product Details
I've reviewed:
Conscious Men

Product Details
Author John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. He is age 65, now. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages.

His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the #1 best-selling relationship book of all time. 

From my dating days we narrated this video of the turkeys. It's mating season!  It rather shows our age, I think. Or, perhaps things have not changed. Maybe the young people can tell me.

Turkey Trots from Jennifer Jilks on Vimeo.

The recent photo of  Trump's cabinet showing men making decisions on women's health issues strikes a chord. Things haven't changed enough!


William Kendall said...

Good review!

I saw a variant on that photo of the old boy's club making all the decisions, but this with them looking like Iranian mullahs.

Red said...

I enjoyed Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars. I thought it made good sense. Now I'll have to read Beyond Mars and Venus.

Nancy J said...

Strutting as if their life depended on the next move, and the gals keep on eating. Love the commentary!! And the board room, what would they all know??

Cat Lover said...

Great commentary on the video Jenn!

Kay said...

Those turkeys remind me of peacocks.

The idea of only old guys making decisions on women's health really is frustrating!

Powell River Books said...

Growing up thinking I had freedom and control of my destiny, pictures like the tweet make me so angry. - Margy