Friday 22 May 2009

Framing happiness: our attitude

My blogger buddy just responded to a tag-you're-it post. The prompt is to reply to 6 Things That Make Me Happy. I think that happiness is far less something you depend upon from external forces, than a choice to appreciate what is in the here and now. What is... simply is. We must accept it deal with it, and no longer hunger for the past, or for the what ifs, if onlys, or the things that add little to our lives.
Hope: framing it
As we age, the things we hope for change. 
It used to be:
Something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.

Perceptions: Framing a Painting
Attitudes: they frame your perspective. *Doidge (2007) examined the plasticity
of the brain and, through psychotherapy we can change the flow of blood in the
brain and rewire the prefrontal cortex (where thinking occurs). He advocates for the counsellor to help the client reframe her thinking to move forward. Attitude and perception is formed in early years, but can be changed in adulthood. The brain is wired to react in certain ways, but that thinking can be reframed.
Certainly, the reverse is true, too.
I know that we frame our thinking based on what is going on, past or present, in our lives. The amygdala is the emotional centre of the brain. It holds memories and connects them to the emotions of the time. This is one of the factors in PTSD. When you see an image that reminds you of the time, or place of an emotional incident it takes you back to that place and time.
My mom's cancer framed her life in the last few years. She fought it viciously. She could not act as she had: with unconditional love for family, thinking only of others, and learned to fight for herself. She withdrew. She lost her perspective. She lost her focus. She went inward. It was a tough time in our relationship. I am only beginning to understand it.
This painting, by Ygartua, is a favourite of mine. I reframed it, to demonstrate how we can reframe our thinking.


“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
--Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman)
~~~~~~~~
*Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin.

5 comments:

The Weaver of Grass said...

A most interesting post - and I am sure you are right. A positive attitude to life means that one sees good in everything, however small that good is - many years ago I read a book called "The Power of Positive Thinking" and since then I have tried to put it into practice. Of course there are "blips" - things happen which make it difficult to see the bright side - but most things pass.
Thanks for putting it in such a succinct way.

Hildred and Charles said...

I agree with you, - 100%. I am not familiar with re-wiring, but I have always had the deepest sympathy for those persons to whom life is doom and gloom, no matter what the circumstances.

A very perceptive posting, - thank you for it.

Jenn Jilks said...

Thanks, Weaver. I love your post, and we really must appreciate what we have. Living here in Muskoka is a blessing, but the simple things are the ones we enjoy, too. I was accused by an 'ex' once of not being positive enough. I bought that book, and took it to heart. I hope I apply it now.

Thank you, Hildred and Charles.

gleaner said...

First-time visitor here, wandered over from Weaver's blog. I like how you illustrate the framing and perspective with the painting. It has me pondering the ownership of the framing and that perhaps for some, framing is done to them by their situation or others, which can overwhelm them. Anyway, I will be back to read some more..

Jenn Jilks said...

Thanks for visiting, gleaner! I love Weaver's blog, too.

I taught a number of students who were the victims of physical, social, or emotional abuse. Some severe, some simply had parents who consistently called them 'stupid', and never looked for the positives. I invented an For parents I sent home: An Affirmation of your children.
Such kids have to learn to love themselves and rise above. This may not happen until they are adults, but it can happen.