Book Review: Satan Takes Over

I reviewed another Jass Richards book, Turblojetslams. It was a hilarious take on modern cottage life. We cottaged from 1960 until 2010. Things were so different in the 60's. Not for the better. 

This book takes modern times, with renters who fire off fireworks every night for two weeks, jetskis doing figure 8's, bonfires day and night, and manages to solve the problem. It is a hilarious take, based in reality. You know Jass has lived this life. It is way too familiar. 

I love the creativity with which she writes. I just laugh at her take on modern cottage life, as much as I cry over the inhumanity towards one another. The noise that blocks out the sounds of the critters, what with technology and lake toys. The sights and smell of smoke wafting across the lake, bonfires on hot summer days. The notion that landowners are kings of their own castles drove us away from lakeside life.

It was a timely read for us, as we work on preventing a gun range nearby. Jass is a kindred spirit, a clever writer, and a person with a seriously wonderful sense of humour. Some days you just have to laugh. If you need a laugh, you can find her publications here, I've downloaded several on my iBook. It makes for great reading. You'll shake your head as you recognize characters, as much as you want to whack them upside the head! 

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Cottage life used to be simpler. We hand pumped water up from the lake. There was a two-seater outhouse. Eventually, we got in Hydro, and were connected to Bala's town water and the sewer system.

We were given an old wooden boat by friends who built seafleas. I loved that old boat. I'd crank up the 60 HP outboard, and toodle up the lake to visit my friend. Wooden, and a heavy boat, it eventually rotted. Here is my dad being given the boat by Bob Scythes.

My uncle had a sailboat, and dad bought it from Uncle Fred when he upgraded to a bigger, better boat. Dad would roar up and down the lake.

Mom and dad bought me a used canoe from a kids' camp. I loved that canoe!

Bonfires abound:

 

Renters partying, yelling and screaming on the lake at 2 a.m.. Setting off fireworks in the dark. I called the OPP. They were quiet, then ramped it all up, again.

Then there were the people ice fishing. They built a fire on the ice. In the meanwhile, the truck roared up and down the lake. You could both hear and feel the waves under the ice sloshing back and forth towards our shore.

Citiots peeing in the lake. This makes me laugh as much as it creeps me out. We were sitting here, quietly watching the wildlife, on our lakeside bench, just like our kids. I had my smaller zoom lens on. 

They're driving me batty!

Look what Buster caught!

No, not the bat Buster caught, plucked out of the air at 3:50 a.m., but the loud music that went from 4 p.m. until at least 12:15 a.m., when I popped in my iPod ear buds. The Otty Lake BLues Cruise, with tourists on the lake having a loud party with an amplifier system.
I caught the bat with our butterfly net to get the screaming, scared, little creature in the net. Wish I could capture the noise makers as easily!

This morning I was listening to On the Dock, with Megan Thomas in Sudbury: summer long-weekend radio.
They interviewed three cottage country politicians:
Kawartha Lakes: Ric McGee
-75,000 permanent; 40,000 seasonal residents.
Haliburton/ Algonquin Highlands Councillor: Carol Moffat
-16,000 residents; 40,000 seasonal
Camden County in SW Ontario: Bill DeLoughy
-11,000 residents; up to 40,000 on a visiting weekend
Muskoka, where I used to live, would get nearly a million people up on a long weekend.

Charlie Green Road - very remote!

Beautiful cottage country

They spoke of the difficulties of meeting the municipal wants and needs of seasonal visitors. They spoke of gravel roads, remotely going around the lake, with poor EMS access.
Local Taxes Pay for Local Services
With waterfront properties having higher taxes, they demand better services, yet delivering firefighting crews to an island, for example, is difficult. Volunteer firefighters need jetskis, as well as snowmobiles as tourist season is no longer confined to summer, or the shoulder seasons.

Milford Bay , Ontario,Volunteer Crew Equipment

Lanark County

While the interviews with mayors of cottage towns are illuminating, they leave out the conflicts between summer residents, renters and permanent residents. We moved from a lovely retirement home on a lake, where we had cottaged for 50 years, to a lovely rural piece of land.

Renters have no love for the land, for peace and quiet, nor respect for land, lake and environmental laws. Fireworks every night for two weeks in a row. Children driving jetskis, 40-something jetskis drivers doing figure eights for hours, teens racing their powerful machines, some running alongside water skiers. Bonfires during fire bans. I have a photo of a man urinating off of his boat into the water while we sat with our afternoon coffee.
Adult children, or teens, will take over the cottage on a weekend, and bring booze and ATVs, and loud partying into the night. I praise our EMS crews, the OPP that I call in the wee hours as the drunks loudly party on the lake, and our volunteer firefighters who work tirelessly. Critical Incident Management is a whole new level of training for hard-working crews who respond to these tragic situations.

The near-misses of 2011 were frightening. But 2009 was the worst. More drownings in Muskoka

Drowning statistics for Muskoka are appalling (2009) 

Bonfires can so easily go wrong,
this one on a property with boat-only access.

Our Ontario Provincial Police (OPP): 25% policing calls are related to crime; 75% mental health, escort mentally ill, noise violations, handling nuisance bears, they do it all!

Bonfire on a hot summer day

Bonfires
Unfortunately, the maximum fine for illegal brush burning is $300. A pittance.

Fire destroys Muskoka Lakes boathouse

We see bonfires all around the area. Brushfires, bonfires, burning of wet leaves.