Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Thursday, 20 May 2021

Apps and technology for fauna and the skies

The gypsy moths are here 🍃Gypsy Moths🐛 <= I'm going to keep track of them. There's not much we can do about it. They have hatched, I noticed them Monday, May 17th. They fling themselves out into the world on gossamer threads, and their 4 mm bodies are spread on the wind.  They are all over the back deck railing, which is unreal. They eat tree leaves. It really is discouraging. 

I've a bucket of soapy water, I keep washing it all down. We cannot spray anything, you need dormant oil prior to the eggs hatching, and now we've gray tree frogs who inhabit the back deck, plus lots of butterflies and moths.


I'm happy to take a break, go indoors, and watch curling with JB. The poor man is fighting allergies, as well as being unable to use his left arm to lift, and his neck pain. Technology has really helped many get through this all with family Facetime and Zoom. 

That said, my son and DIL had their birthday/wedding anniversary yesterday. I kept meaning to phone, knowing Jesse is working from home. I didn't want to interrupt his work day. I kept watching the clock. Then it was 4 p.m., and it was 1 p.m. in Vancouver. Then, our dinnertime, and I was wiping caterpillars off the back deck. Next, I was sleepy, konked out, and went to bed early. I feel so badly! 

This is Jess and Stacie, with her niece and nephew and Isabelle and Josephine, 7 years ago at their Surrey  wedding! It was a lovely backyard wedding, at her mom's place. Jesse is doing so well, with a new job.



Up in the air!

In the meantime, look up to the skies. When my dad was dying, I found it helped to record what happened in a memoire on a daily basis. I've written about my noise issues, that is a symptom of anxiety. (Also, inability to make decisions, trembling, a sense of danger or doom.) JB has to warn me if he's using the dustbuster. I startle so easily. Bless his heart.

What I found helps is to try capture the air traffic (a good challenge), try ID them and spot them on the Flight24 Radar. Some don't show up. Especially the military helicopters📹! They are big and LOUD! Compilation: heads up 📹. 



More air traffic around the hummingbird feeder. Yesterday, the female was watching me📹from the safety of the lilac tree. Wednesday, the female visited, the male came by, and she chased him away! When he left, she went back to the lilac tree to see if the coast was clear! You go, girl! hummingbird battle  

Song Birds

They are back from their winter break. There is an app I heard about on Twitter. BirdNET, by Cornell U. It's not bad. It identified the red-eyed vireo for me, as well as a Cardinal, and blue jay. I was down at the frogpond, and ID'd another red-eyed vireo. It took a couple of tries, as there were noisy dump trucks going by. That was funny: "human made sounds!"

Thursdays are OPP gun days, and the app was mystified. The long green marks show the guns going off. They do recertification for all 500 OPP members in the region 500 m behind our property. Again, when it began we used to go out for a drive, and lunch out.  It sounds like a murderous insurrection, with 12 police, shooting upon command, for 10 seconds. I had a tour of the facility, and that helped calm me.

Are you languishing?

While I am on meds for depression and anxiety, many people are facing life-limiting health issues. Then there are fires in Manitoba, drought, COVID–19 is everywhere, anger and resentment boils over what governments are or are not doing. I have to turn the news off. 

I watched one CTV segment on Languishing, which seems to reflect the challenges of many. Mental health is a spectrum, from depression < = > flourishing. I've many people I follow on Social Media with serious issues that make daily life hard. The impact of the pandemic has been horrible for them. Self-care is truly important for those who are struggling somewhere in between. People can feel joyless, aimless, stagnant and empty, according to experts. 

CTV segment on Languishing
There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing
The neglected middle child of mental health can dull your motivation and focus — and it may be the dominant emotion of 2021.   

I hope you are all looking after yourselves. We will get through this! 

Monday, 17 May 2021

It's gardening time!

 Saturday morning, I found out what Butch was up to in the night! She knocked the pump over. JB came in to report it. Cinnamon supervised me. He was quite concerned about the fishies!


And, we're done. I added some fresh water for good measure. 

Saturday at 8 a.m., JB went into the market for some supplies. It was all outdoors. Some of the craftspeople were not there. Town was deserted!


Saturday afternoon I planted the rest of my plants. It is such good therapy! The deep purple petunias have such a scent. 

I totally missed getting a tall spike for this planter. The one from last year is quite dead, by maybe it will do!

I hope the petunias do their thing. I must tape up a couple of holes before I water it next! 

This one looks a bit lame. I usually put a climbing thing in it, I just didn't have the energy to keep on shopping. 




I found this little plant, and spur-of-the-moment picked it up. It's called Lychnis flos-cuculi, "Petite Jenny!" Feel free to giggle! I haven't been 'petite' since gr. 4! 

I picked up zucchini, acorn squash, and spaghetti squash. I totally missed getting pumpkins, which is what I wanted. The perils of shopping with anxiety, I just hightailed it out. The dude was waiting for me to exit the veggie aisle. In hindsight, he only bought 4 tomato plants. If I'd known... These photos are for reference, I suspect the plants won't last long! 

Big news: phoebe has a cowbird egg in her nest. It's illegal to interfere with nature, so I'll leave it be and see what happens. Good thing we have lots of bugs, we will hope for the best outcome.


The gray tree frog was outside singing on the deck. I put the plant out for him. We've gypsy moth caterpillars all over the place. There is lots of food.

I think the robins have finally picked a beam. I noticed the cowbirds flying around. I expect another egg in the robin's nest.

I put together a video of Butch at the frogpond, eating the corn. She's there every few hours or so, noting the time stamp. She's thirsty, too. You can hear the gray tree frogs singing. She's got kits, so she has mouths to feed. I'll look forward to seeing the kits. She was there every couple of hours. 12:34; 13:04; 15:19; 17:01;  Momma Butch  


The crows have been out and about. Good to see them. Crow May 15 



Sunday, 16 May 2021

Out shopping with anxiety...

 That was a beautiful day, Friday. 

The Beer Store

I decided it was time to go into town. I summoned the courage to return wine bottles to The Beer Store around noon. On the way, someone had lost his trailer and hay was in the middle of the road. Right here, where there isn't much road. I felt so badly for him. It was cleaned up when I returned. 


 The Beer Store has a rule about one customer in each for returns and to buy beer. I went in, you cannot see the returns counter from the door. As always they bark at me to go back outside. Sigh. They need a traffic cop. My hands started shaking at that point. I know clerks are having a tough time... but... I made it in and out, my heart beating pretty fast.

Then, a train appeared. Suddenly the traffic was stopped. I just wanted to hustle and get my chores done. You can't get there from here, as the train tracks cut off the north part of town from where I was! There was a long line of cars waiting to proceed. Deep breaths, patience.

Garden Centre

From there, I went to the garden centre. I didn't know what to expect. In previous years, well, COVID–19 last year, they sold out quickly. Cottagers are reportedly coming here, now, with the good weather. I figured, if I didn't go soon, there would be nothing left. The parking lot was quite full. I was worried already. How long would it take? What are the protocols? 

They are allowed 16 customers at a time. (25% capacity) This they control by having only 16 carts available. If two people are shopping together, they each need a cart. I didn't know that when I went to line up. I grabbed a cart, and it was the wrong one. It was taken from me. There is another employee fetching the carts from the parking lot. That helped. As I stood in line, I was asked what I was looking for, and she explained the set up, where the petunias were, and then you go through the veggie section lastly. It was good having a road map in my mind. By now my hands were shaking and I could feel my chest tighten.

It's gardening season! (April 30, 2017)


I wanted another hanging basket, figuring that was easier than doing my own this year, but most of them are prepaid, and planned for, so there wasn't a good selection for me. I tried to hurry, as there was a line out the store. We were only allowed one person in an aisle, so it was slow going. I felt rushed, and my hands were still shaking, my breath fast. Someone came up behind me while I was waiting my turn at the cash. It wasn't a good feeling. All the staff were kind and careful. I said I was experiencing some anxiety, and she was very compassionate, talking me down.

It took a half hour, all told, as I wended my way following the arrows. I forgot to ask about cherry tomatoes, but I found one, and in a hanging basket. I was so happy about that. I'll repot it, I think, as it tends to grow. I have to move the bird feeder, as they often mistake the planter for the feeder. 

I was so happy to be home! Taking everything out of the car, I rearranged the hanging planters. The cherry tomatoes are in the red hanging basket. The petunias Caitlin gave me are beside the hummingbird feeder.

My mother's day present! I love the polka dots...
It has lots of teeny cherry blossoms! I am so excited about it.

It's lily bug season. I suck them up into my pooter. It works really well. You suck on one end, which has a gauze cover on it, and pull it into the jar through the long end.

The joys of spring: I put out my laundry!

Cinnamon and I went to see the aspen grove. It is leafing out nicely, despite the deer trimming them!

The frogpond was busy. A water snake!

I figured I should look. The wood ducks have hatched and gone. It was a good outcome, 13/15 hatched. Nothing on the camera, of course. They are just too fast. 

The phoebe are safely on the nest, while the robin is still making a decision about which beam it will choose! They are around all day. robin May 14