Bedtime routines for babies - sleeping with a toy

Coroner's reports are excellent means by which society can learn from its mistakes. Absolutely. However, we can err on the side of insane.

For an inexplicable issue like Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), for which there is no rhyme or reason for a death, we must work to determine this problem's etiology. But it is not failure to thrive* (which is identifiable), or neglect. SIDS is not an horrific accident in which, for example, a parent takes an infant to bed with them and they roll over on them.

The coroner is warning parents against co-sleeping because there were 12 deaths linked to co-sleeping in Ontario in 2008. A bed is a great place where a mother can breastfeed. I know, I did it myself. 

How delicate and yet strong these wee ones are. Lungs with the power to set us weeping. They can withstand much that we, as adults, could not handle. 

How crazy that *our* kids lived through learning to walk and talk and live in this world. I remember my son, Jesse, who insisted on going down to the basement to play when he was a toddler and tripping. I took him into emerge many times thinking this time he'd given himself a concussion. He had not. Just really wanted to move all the time!

Now, they are saying  “No bumper pads, no toys,no blankets, no anything,” and I find this so bizarre.

The Coroner's report is the big decision-maker in this situation. Best practice would mean that no one left their house, since by staying home no one would be hit by a car! Research and reality are two different things. As Annie says, 

The Ontario coroner says it is dangerous for babies to share a bed with their parents because of 8.8 deaths per 100,000 live births. That must mean it is dangerous to travel by car, because there were 8.8 deaths per 100,000 people. The Ontario coroner should be advising all Ontarians to avoid car travel. Travel by foot is much safer. We should ban cars.

In the region of Muskoka we had 11 drownings last summer. Will the Coroner's office demand that no one go swimming or on the lake? 


I am not alone in wondering about this.
It occurs to me that we can prevent all traffic deaths by keeping everyone at home. Another blogger had the same idea!

These studies, like those in education, do not necessarily apply to these well-trained, responsible families who choose to become parents. Each family is different, unique, each child has different needs. My granddaughter spent her first 6 months keeping my daughter awake until they found a sleep toy, now she has 4 bee-bees for home, crib, car and day care.

Also, have they reduced the number of deaths and serious occurences by not permitting a baby blanket or a baby toy in a crib? I bet not. Especially, high-risk children with social or emotional disorders who need comforting. The Coroner's office needs a before and after study to see if this does reduce deaths. I can understand how a child can get her head wedged in the side of a crib between mattress and rails. But this carries it too far.

How crazy that we cannot determine the difference between 'cluttered' cribs, and a child with a blankie to comfort them. How frustrating for both parent and child. In my day, we put kids to sleep on their tummies. No more. For babies who cannot sleep with a blanket or these little bedtime toys, as Josephine uses. A teeny stuffed animal head attached to a satin-trimmed small blanket (See the Giraffe above left). We call them her bee-bees!

Yes, kids are going to be 'safe' without a sucky blanket, but will they be happy and emotionally stable sleeping in a naked crib with nothing soft to hold on to? As Annie, PhD in Parenting says, "The Ontario coroner should stop telling people not to bed share and instead tell them how to make bed sharing safer. "

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References

Failure to thrive (FTT) is a medical term which denotes poor weight gain and physical growth failure over an extended period of time

Drowning Statistics and incidents kept up on My Muskoka blog. There were 11 in three seasons of Muskoka Lakes.

Paediatric Death Review Committee Annual Report 2009 [PDF] 

Bill 115, an Act to Amend the Coroners Act was introduced in the Ontario Legislature on ......However any sleep surface that is cluttered with pillows, blankets, toys, ... month-old infant, with his head wrapped in a blanket in his crib ... safety regulations is the safest place for an infant to sleep...

Parents Canada - Developing - Baby - Explaining SIDS

A significant rise in preventable infant deaths from unsafe sleeping conditions, ... According to a recent report from Ontario's Office of the Chief Coroner, ... says Dr. Cairns. ... comforters or stuffed toys in the crib except for one small blanket tucked in..

8.8 deaths per 100000 population | PhD in Parenting

The Ontario coroner should be advising all Ontarians to avoid car travel. Travel by foot is much safer. We should ban cars. How would that recommendation go?

Grandparents and the Internet

I have heard news of great developments and innovations on the Internet. I recall taking my first Computer Science course in Jarvis H. S. in the 70s. It was endlessly frustrating. You had to fill in these delightful cards pictured right), which were then sent to the uToronto for processing. Each card had to be filled in with code. Then, your 100 cards would be returned two weeks later with a 'syntax error in line 463'. How far we have come.

The course I found rather tedious. I dropped it.

But I went on to end up, once my kids were born and I went back to work, taking some tutorials from a grade six student in the school where I was teaching JK. I found teaching and integrating technology into my classrooms so very rewarding. I would give the digital camera to the least well-behaved student, and they would be happy and motivated. We used iMovie, Claris Home page (& "Nightmare Weaver" when they 'improved' Claris!), Graphic Converter to make .gifs, Fetch to upload web pages, Kidspiration to create Mind Maps, and Flash for the more sophisticated students.

Many Baby Boomers had to learn technology for work. And it was easy with someone at your shouldere to help you. These days, senior grandparents (who may not have learned technology previously), are incorporating it into their daily lives. I remember, in 'the old days', grandparents would do audiotapes and phone, but computer-to-computer is so much different. My favourite video was taken with the built-in camera on my computer. She loves to watch herself dance, Josephine & Frosty 2 .

J. is fascinated with 'babies' on the computer. When could watch herself, and was so interested in watching the 'baby'! The video that shows us dancing to the Conga we watch. We say, "One, Two, Three..." and J (20 mos, old) now responds with, "Kick!"

Her other favourite video is the airplane. Over and over she presses play, waves 'bye' to the plane.



Many of us are on Facebook (FB) to socialize with Grand Kids (and we think they are all grand!). Many of us send digital photos back and forth. We e-mail and talk to our kids on Skype. It is a marvellous tool. It is the best thing about technology!

I have heard much to denigrate FB, but I use it as a tool. Parents can check out kid's activities, and see who their friends are. I think it a great way for parents to monitor their teens, as well. The price of the Internet is full access to their accounts. It is a privilege, not a right, and we have a responsibility to supervise them.

What we have done, is take photos and video of the kids, upload them to FB and then our granddaughter can go home and review and remember what she did. I don't want to bore everyone with our video. But below I posted the video of the various exciting activities. In the old days we wrote journals. These days we have visual diaries, which promote pre-reading skills, expressive and receptive language skills, and thinking skills in our little kids. Reviewing and reprocessing the visual puts it into the long-term. It helps a young child remember people like her Uncle Jesse, the actor, who did an Polar Bunny (Easter) swim when she was here! She'll say, "Jesse, towel!"

Grandparents, integrate technology into your lives! Let the young people know that we are marching into the new millennium: Betsy has a new toy, too! You will never regret it. With the economy, changing job markets, the necessity to travel for work, families can still keep in touch across distances.
How do you incorporate technology to keep your family closer?

J. at Easter

mother with 6 kids has 8 more

A single mom with 6 kids having fertility treatments? What is with this?

At least in Canada we have ethics committees. She is going to manipulate her way to fame, while risking the social and emotional health of her children and exploiting them at the same time. Newspapers are hopping: (Australian news, BBC, NBC, UK Times , ABC news) and some say she is talking about deals with Oprah and US tabloids. Latest is: she has hired an agent. She has made the front page internationally.

What some news items say is that she cannot have had 8 eggs implanted in Canada (and in American clinics) as that violates their ethical policies. She may have had fertility treatments and/or hormones, but that said, what an abuse of the US health care system. It costs in the four-digit range to implant, never mind the drain on health care resources, both human and physical. She now has a publicist and has appeared on NBC. And the media continue to give her fame and yet there is little glory. Most accounts point to the fact that she is partnerless, unemployed and lives with her parents.

It is an abuse of the children; manipulating them for monetary gain. In Canada, we learned from the exploitation of the Quintuplets. This is a crime. She cannot raise them with the care and devotion that children deserve. I hope someone somewhere learns a lesson from this.

Then there is the 60-year old with new-born twins in Calgary. What are they thinking? The reader's comments are a hoot.

Protect Our Children Act

I watched a powerful Oprah show today. It was about child pornography and predators. Her call to action revolves around the American Senate Bill #1738 - the Protect Our Children Act. There have been problems passing this act. Sometimes our rights to privacy must be superceded by what is moral. Internet Safety is a topic of concern to me, with a couple of articles to my credit. I have created a PPT to educate parents and teachers. I understand some of the issues.

What I cannot understand is this act. The purpose of the act is to invest millions in setting up law enforcement agencies. Oprah has put a call out to her constituents to pass this law. She cites the need for an infusion of dollars, as well as a tightening of the mandate and money for software to find predators. While her goals are laudable, I think them misplaced. She has the power to sway many people and broadcast important causes, but I wonder if this push for more money is the right one.

They key is empowering parents to prevent such abuses, and teaching those who work with children to be vigilant. The USA's National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is one place to start. Most predation is carried out by people familiar to the children. Also, children who are lured online fall in the small minority. Those who create child porn use their home computers and equipment. That said, there are means by which a parent can determine where a child has been on his or her computer. It is the right of a parent, indeed the obligation to supervise them. Checking the browser history will let you know the sites that are accessed. One must be vigilant.

Regarding this act, I think we must come to the determination that Internet Service Providers must be forced to cooperate with child protection agencies and stop the trading, and marketing of these illegal, immoral and unlawful products. People from around the world must take action. Those who worry about internet censorship and personal and human rights need to wake up. The impact of child pornography on the psyche of the nation is huge. The stress of this problem on the children, their families, law enforcement officers and society is preventable. Something needs to be done. The discussion needs to continue.